Whispers From Trees

short fiction and curiosities

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Who am I and how did I steal thoughts from your head?

I’m Andy, and I am pretty sure I didn’t steal your thoughts, I just talk so much all the time that chance dictates I’ll eventually be saying what people are thinking.  :P

But, since this is supposed to be a writing prompt, I guess you could write about your “oh duh, i’m pansexual” moment and submit it too.  Hopefully it has less pedophilia than mine did.  :)

` ` `

Sadly, no “duh” moment to share. But my brain finally spat this picture poem out instead. My first ever. Thanks! ^.^

(photo acquired here)

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On Why JJ Can No Longer Read Romance Novels

I am irresistibly physically attracted to that woman. I could hammer nails with my cock! But no! She is a hoooooor and I must resist her evil advances!
Oh golly gee, that man is so brooding and handsome, it makes my nether regions tingle and swoon! But alas, he will never love me for I am the widow of his father’s brother’s nephew’s cousin’s former roommate and carrying his illegitimate issue! I was beaten severely and never once orgasmed while with my previous husband!
I cannot resist her advances! (to woman) Let us boink.
Yea, verily thus.
(Sexxing ensues.)
You slept with me! That confirms my theories that you are a pernicious hooooor!
I have been wronged! I shall run away and be inconveniently found out with a shadowy figure who is secretly blackmailing me for utterly contrived reasons but the scene only makes my True Love After One Boinking further believe I am a woman of loose morals. Oh woe!
JEALOUS RAGE SMASH RAAR. It does not matter that I considered her a hoor before, now I want to take her away from the clutches of that shadowy man!
Sir, I am being blackmailed!
I do not believe you! But I will stalk you nonetheless and eventually find out that you were speaking the truth because I love you!
(Much more sexxing ensues.)
And now, marriage.
We will live happily ever after!
(crying) What have I ever done to you, Romance Novel? Why do you beat me so? Why?

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edit while writing. It can lead to no good. And often to no story. *sighs* Back to Pretty Tears! 

Hey! Isn’t this what I just told you? ::grin::

And yes, back to Pretty Tears!

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WIP Excerpt


First twenty pages of space cowboys WIP. =) Quick Blurb: “A gun-toting, whiskey-swilling captain considers the lustful promises of sin and profit from a stowaway aboard her spacecraft, but his true motives and her revenge plans put them on opposite sides of the law - and the bedroom!”

Chapter One

 “The engine is falling apart!”

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I <3. 


(Source: drcydrke)