Whispers From Trees

short fiction and curiosities

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Who am I and how did I steal thoughts from your head?

I’m Andy, and I am pretty sure I didn’t steal your thoughts, I just talk so much all the time that chance dictates I’ll eventually be saying what people are thinking.  :P

But, since this is supposed to be a writing prompt, I guess you could write about your “oh duh, i’m pansexual” moment and submit it too.  Hopefully it has less pedophilia than mine did.  :)

` ` `

Sadly, no “duh” moment to share. But my brain finally spat this picture poem out instead. My first ever. Thanks! ^.^


(photo acquired here)

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On Why JJ Can No Longer Read Romance Novels

MAN:
I am irresistibly physically attracted to that woman. I could hammer nails with my cock! But no! She is a hoooooor and I must resist her evil advances!
WOMAN:
Oh golly gee, that man is so brooding and handsome, it makes my nether regions tingle and swoon! But alas, he will never love me for I am the widow of his father’s brother’s nephew’s cousin’s former roommate and carrying his illegitimate issue! I was beaten severely and never once orgasmed while with my previous husband!
MAN:
I cannot resist her advances! (to woman) Let us boink.
WOMAN:
Yea, verily thus.
(Sexxing ensues.)
MAN:
You slept with me! That confirms my theories that you are a pernicious hooooor!
WOMAN:
I have been wronged! I shall run away and be inconveniently found out with a shadowy figure who is secretly blackmailing me for utterly contrived reasons but the scene only makes my True Love After One Boinking further believe I am a woman of loose morals. Oh woe!
MAN:
JEALOUS RAGE SMASH RAAR. It does not matter that I considered her a hoor before, now I want to take her away from the clutches of that shadowy man!
WOMAN:
Sir, I am being blackmailed!
MAN:
I do not believe you! But I will stalk you nonetheless and eventually find out that you were speaking the truth because I love you!
WOMAN:
Yay!
(Much more sexxing ensues.)
MAN:
And now, marriage.
WOMAN:
We will live happily ever after!
JJ:
(crying) What have I ever done to you, Romance Novel? Why do you beat me so? Why?

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DO NOT…

denaceleste:

edit while writing. It can lead to no good. And often to no story. *sighs* Back to Pretty Tears! 

Hey! Isn’t this what I just told you? ::grin::

And yes, back to Pretty Tears!

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WIP Excerpt

drcydrke:

First twenty pages of space cowboys WIP. =) Quick Blurb: “A gun-toting, whiskey-swilling captain considers the lustful promises of sin and profit from a stowaway aboard her spacecraft, but his true motives and her revenge plans put them on opposite sides of the law - and the bedroom!”

Chapter One

 “The engine is falling apart!”

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I <3. 

:)

(Source: drcydrke)