2 notes November 28, 2010 On Why JJ Can No Longer Read Romance Novels MAN:I am irresistibly physically attracted to that woman. I could hammer nails with my cock! But no! She is a hoooooor and I must resist her evil advances! WOMAN:Oh golly gee, that man is so brooding and handsome, it makes my nether regions tingle and swoon! But alas, he will never love me for I am the widow of his father’s brother’s nephew’s cousin’s former roommate and carrying his illegitimate issue! I was beaten severely and never once orgasmed while with my previous husband! MAN:I cannot resist her advances! (to woman) Let us boink. WOMAN:Yea, verily thus. (Sexxing ensues.) MAN:You slept with me! That confirms my theories that you are a pernicious hooooor! WOMAN:I have been wronged! I shall run away and be inconveniently found out with a shadowy figure who is secretly blackmailing me for utterly contrived reasons but the scene only makes my True Love After One Boinking further believe I am a woman of loose morals. Oh woe! MAN:JEALOUS RAGE SMASH RAAR. It does not matter that I considered her a hoor before, now I want to take her away from the clutches of that shadowy man! WOMAN:Sir, I am being blackmailed! MAN:I do not believe you! But I will stalk you nonetheless and eventually find out that you were speaking the truth because I love you! WOMAN:Yay! (Much more sexxing ensues.) MAN:And now, marriage. WOMAN:We will live happily ever after! JJ:(crying) What have I ever done to you, Romance Novel? Why do you beat me so? Why?
prplrabbit liked this
whispersfromtrees reblogged this from sjaejones
sjaejones posted this